9.10.2010

"Drop Down And Get Your Eagle On Girl."

It's that time of the year, fall! Who cares about the fall weather - I care about what fall brings, AUBURN FOOTBALL! Although I certainly love fall weather I heart football a little bit more. It also brings pro football which means I get to participate in the fantasy football leagues. I am in two this year. Two years ago I started playing fantasy football with the boys. My husband helped me draft and :big surprise here: I lost. Like came in dead last. However, last year I wanted NO help from him and I wound up doing really well. I was number 1 for like multiple weeks in a row. This year I drafted by myself - we will see how we do.

It has been an absolute stressful month for me. I seriously need to be medicated. Work has picked up an enormous amount, but that's nothing new. That's manageable, almost enjoyable stress. Between us trying to sell our house, offers, contracts, keeping it clean more than I have ever done in my life, trying to get things in order to be in 2 out of state weddings, and planning a bachelorette party in a state I no longer live in, I could really use daily massages or take up drinking. There is a lot going on. And then there was last night........Thursday, September 9, 2010. This my friends, is the day AUBURN almost lost to Miss State. It came down to the last two minutes. We somehow managed to hang in there, but not without me having a mild heart attack. The SEC is the best conference, but I am not sure how I am going to handle watching any more games. My heart may stop by the end of the season.
War Egle!

So in case you are wondering how football can be such a big deal, you can read below to see what football season at Auburn is like. I have gotten this email before, but also saw this on The McMommy Chronicles

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Captain Morgan/Crown. Money is not necessary - that's what dates are for.


Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.




Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.


Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.




Cheerleaders:
NORTH: If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.
SOUTH: You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.




Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put your name on the waiting list.


Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung-over students that might actually make it to class.


 
Parking:

NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north.


Tailgating: NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down. SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band,who comes over during breaks and asks for a hit off a bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state's third largest city.

 

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Captain Morgan/Crown.

 

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

 

The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of Captain Morgan/Crown.

 

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

 

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to the nearest store for more bourbon; Planning begins for next week's game.

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